Random Shit, Thinking Cap

How I Just Realized That 90% Of My Convo Is Shit.

Okay, so this morning I got an email from my Dad. It’s called the “Triple Filter Test”. It is about economizing on how much you speak and what you listen to. Go Figure. Here it is:

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Here is the Triple Filter Test attributed to the great Philosopher Socrates :

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it and …”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really …”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

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Alright, so I must only probe into matters which are true, which have some goodness in them and which are useful to me. So that means, about 90% of my conversations are shit. Thanks, Dad.

Just two minutes after reading this mail, I got a phone-call from a friend who was just squirming to share some juicy bit of gossip with me. And how shamelessly I gave in. I thought of the Triple Filter Test but I didn’t have the heart or the courage to subject my friend to it. What would she think? She would probably assume I was being downright sassy or self-important. So how best can you tell people that you’re not interested in their shit without hurting their sentiments or coming across as a mighty snob?

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Random Shit, Traveling Pants

Goa to Mumbai

Hola!

Did you know that neon party bands are the coolest things you can wear? And also they recharge themselves if you keep them in the freezer? Well, mine didn’t but that does not diminish their awesomeness! I got six of them on Baga beach when I was in Goa (remember?) and they looked so hot on me. But after keeping them in the freezer for a day, they did not glow again.

I got back day before yesterday in a very tourist-y avatar (harem pants and all) and immediately my brief try at bohemianism melted away as the rush and bustle of the city got to me. I was equal parts happy and sad upon arriving in Mumbai. But for a while, I was disoriented. I did not know how to start with where I left. Something seemed different and it seemed as if somehow in the span of time at Goa, I had changed. But what had changed? I wonder.

However it feels good to be back! I can read more novels now and watch more movies and look forward to going to film school (yay!). But most importantly I need to shed some kilos which I have surely gained in Goa because of consuming so much of meat (pork sorpatel, pasta marinara with squid and prawns, sausages, pepper steak etc etc). And also I need to catch up with some friends and other folks down here in Mumbai.

So long!

Viren.

 

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Random Shit

April Fool’s Day and Weird Things Around Me

Okay, Google, you got me! I totally tried to press my nose as close to the screen as possible and smell waffles, and fear and dumpster and apple pie. After my fifth unsuccessful attempt, I realized something was fishy and I googled the “nose” feature to realize that Google made an April’s Fool out of me. Well played Google.

Anyways, apart from how I completely lost my common sense and tried to smell off the screen of my computer, there are some other weird things, which have been happening y’all. For instance, yesterday, I got home from shopping and found a . . . guess what? . . . a beer bottle on the floor of my bathroom. Now, my family might not be a bunch of teetotalers but none of us are raving alcoholics either. And so, when I asked my mom what the hell is a beer bottle doing in the bathroom, she replied (hear, hear) that she used it for her hair. She used beer as conditioner. Eww.

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Random Shit

I’m a huge fan

As I already made clear in my first post, that I ain’t new to the blogging world. And that is why I happen to be acquainted with some absolutely fantastic blogs online but one of them is so special that I must recommend it to all my followers and readers: The Bloggess. She has made me laugh in my darkest hours, y’all. I’m a huge fan of her’s.

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Anger Management, Movies, Random Shit

I Hate Technology and My Secret Fetish for Chick-Flicks

I’m completely useless with technology. This does not mean that I do not understand technology; I might not be a tech-wiz but I sure know how to get my mind around the latest gadgets. It’s just the sheer number and multi-functionality (is it even a word? Its’ not? Well, now it is) of them that gets to me. There is a really hilarious dialogue in a chick-flick which I happened to watch on T.V. one day while surfing the channels (I’m so completely lying here, though I’m a guy, I absolutely dig some chick-flicks) which can explain my problem with modern technology, quite accurately;

Mary: “I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn’t. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”

The way Drew Barrymore says the dialogue in the movie is undeniably endearing and cute. And the frustration she expresses is exactly what I undergo. I mean, Jesus, what world are we living in? There is this one time when one of my friends was really upset with me and we sat together in the same place but watsapped each other furiously for half an hour and we didn’t speak even a word aloud! It just drives me insane. When was it that people would meet face to face and kiss each other on the mouth instead of sending love emoticons? And I’m just going to box the next fellow who greets me with a “what’s up, dude”. I hate the word, “what’s up”. I’m not uptight about language like crazy Higgins from My Fair Lady or anything but I sure wish that things would be done the old way sometimes. What’s wrong with the golden, “How you doin'”?

And so, few months earlier, I swore to never become inexorably dependent on technology. I failed. I can’t even write an essay on paper, I prefer my blog. The moment I wake up, I reach out for my cellphone to check if anyone has sent me a morning joke. It takes will power to refrain from watching at least something on screen every day (but I totally boycott television because I hate television, too). I’d rather learn guitar online than go to a class. And that, my friends is my great tragedy. Stuck in technology, wishing to get way but can’t. Like a fly who has fallen into marmalade.

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