Middle Class Indian, Random Shit

Something Bigger Than Myself

It is about half past ten in the morning, and the city looks like a canvas for a giant, crazy kid with crayons, gone out of hand. Yes, it was Holi yesterday and though there has been a drought in India, the celebrations went on uninhibited. Aside from the occasional reports about chemical poisoning in the morning newspapers, all seems to be good and fine. The sun is bright in the sky and the smell in the breeze reminds me of rain.

Another festival is behind us, andĀ  now life has to move on. Lately, I have been preoccupied with thoughts of how I’m not doing enough. In a sense, my schoolboy laziness is beginning to trouble me now. I wish to be more fruitful, more giving, more efficient. But I do not know how can I do that. Shall I look for a summer part-time? Should I learn to cook or help mom in washing dishes or drying clothes? I mean, I have realized that if I don’t have to study, there is more to life than watsapping, watching American soaps, and reading summer novels. I have to pick myself up and commit myself to a nobler cause.

Philosopher Daniel Dennett said the secret of happiness is to find something bigger than yourself, and then devote your life to it. What is that thing in my life and when will I find it?

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Middle Class Indian, Random Shit, Traveling Pants

Traveling and The Down Side of Being a Middle Class Indian

Yesterday, at a book exhibition, I came across an enduring secondhand of The Beach by Alex Garland and bought it cheap. I began reading it this afternoon and read it through the evening by the poolside at the local club. It had me in its clutches and wouldn’t let me go; I love when a book does that. And then after I took a swim, I realized how much of traveling I must do to ever write something close to a book drawn fromĀ  personal experiences. Reading such books about escapism and hitch-hiking always evoke such thoughts in my mind. I felt very sad but also hopeful. Traveling, unfortunately, is not on my cards yet. First off because I’m only seventeen (this April; I share my birthday with Shakespeare). And second off, I’m middle class Indian. Both these factors speak for themselves.

You see, in the households of the middle class Indians, traveling alone at a tender age is believed to be quite preposterous. Indeed traveling alone at all is a strange notion. We are the sheltered ones, the homely ones; the people whose nearest brushes with adventure is in getting fined for drunken driving or having been bitten by a neighbor’s dog or having nearly survived a collision with a racing bike, we never get off the beaten track, hardly do we ever experience. Our idea of a holiday getaway is driving down to the nearest hill station or coastal town and checking into a luxury resort, sipping pina-coladas in hammocks (which by the way, most of us find uncomfortable, but we try to appear as nonchalant as possible when we are lying in them). Trekking jungles of the Sunderbans is for vagrants, for those who do not have any domestic responsibilities or worldly ties.

And growing up in a middle-class Indian household has been much hampering to my sense of adventure or level of comfort with traveling. But I don’t say I resent my upbringing which has several perks to compensate for its flaws. But I do wish that on our family holidays, we would do much more than fuss about our hotel room service or inquire about when is the pool open.

How I long to be old and brave enough to trudge forgotten streets in foreign cities, with a single back pack thrown over my shoulders, a weeks long beard growing on my chin, meeting beautiful people, coming close to death, having breathtaking experiences . . .

Wherever I go, the first place I wish to visit is Paris. I am not majorly obsessed with or anything (though I do bully my Dad into getting post-cards and souvenirs from there, buying dozens of French phrasebooks and movies set in that charming city) but I really do wish to go there. And you wait, soon my dream shall come true, I’m already saving up.

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