I’m completely useless with technology. This does not mean that I do not understand technology; I might not be a tech-wiz but I sure know how to get my mind around the latest gadgets. It’s just the sheer number and multi-functionality (is it even a word? Its’ not? Well, now it is) of them that gets to me. There is a really hilarious dialogue in a chick-flick which I happened to watch on T.V. one day while surfing the channels (I’m so completely lying here, though I’m a guy, I absolutely dig some chick-flicks) which can explain my problem with modern technology, quite accurately;
Mary: “I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn’t. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”
The way Drew Barrymore says the dialogue in the movie is undeniably endearing and cute. And the frustration she expresses is exactly what I undergo. I mean, Jesus, what world are we living in? There is this one time when one of my friends was really upset with me and we sat together in the same place but watsapped each other furiously for half an hour and we didn’t speak even a word aloud! It just drives me insane. When was it that people would meet face to face and kiss each other on the mouth instead of sending love emoticons? And I’m just going to box the next fellow who greets me with a “what’s up, dude”. I hate the word, “what’s up”. I’m not uptight about language like crazy Higgins from My Fair Lady or anything but I sure wish that things would be done the old way sometimes. What’s wrong with the golden, “How you doin'”?
And so, few months earlier, I swore to never become inexorably dependent on technology. I failed. I can’t even write an essay on paper, I prefer my blog. The moment I wake up, I reach out for my cellphone to check if anyone has sent me a morning joke. It takes will power to refrain from watching at least something on screen every day (but I totally boycott television because I hate television, too). I’d rather learn guitar online than go to a class. And that, my friends is my great tragedy. Stuck in technology, wishing to get way but can’t. Like a fly who has fallen into marmalade.